This kinda goes against my post yesterday and against probably the image of myself that I’m putting out there, that’s partially why I want to write this.  I don’t feel like this often anymore but today has been a horrible, terrible, awful shit day and I was extremely depressed.  I just want to sit on the couch and cry.  People call me inspirational and motivational all the time, well I just wanted to say that I have absolutely awful days, kinda goes with the territory.  It’s OK if you’re feeling bad, that’s to be expected.  More than expected really.  Don’t try to fight it and be all strong, just let it be there, let yourself feel bad.

Categories: Brain stuff, Health, Recovery, Stroke stuff

Tags: , ,

30 replies

  1. I have been feeling awful since last few days. I do not see much improvement in my recovery and the summer days in California are beautiful.

    • I don’t know why it says “your comment is awaiting moderation”. Strange. I just read your post and I was just trying to give you some xoxoxo. Feel better.

      • Thanks Age, love you too. It said that cause I changed the settings and I have to approve comments before they get published. I figured I should do that because I’m getting a lot of comments now.

        • Oh, got it. I thought you were going to think I typed that as a comment, LOL. It’s so cool how many followers you have and how many comments. Awesome that you are touching so many.

  2. Oh Amy I feel for you! I had a couple days last week like that and they suck!! Give yourself 20 minutes to cry it out and then pop that yoga video in!!!!! I can’t stand to hear you upset 😦

  3. I get it. Sometimes you just need to cry.

  4. OMG Amy! My sick sense of humor has caused me to be giggling since I read your line to me: You see, I had a massive stroke a few years ago that caused some brain damage.

    Our having had strokes is not a laughing matter, but for some reason that line tickled me like it was the opening line for a comedy routine…….so very sick!!!!!

  5. While in hospital, my mom said I was the most chipper stroke patient she’s ever known (and she’s known several). She even said if I didn’t stop being so chipper, the doctors would think I was okay. I told her my scans showed otherwise; doubtful the neurosurgeons constantly running in and out for nine days checking on me thought I was okay. Meanwhile, five months later and the sadness has finally set in. I don’t feel it daily but it’s still here nonetheless.

  6. I had a crummy day yesterday, too. I hear ya. Sometimes nothing sets it off…just the realization of….life….as it is now…as it was before. That can be enough to put you on the couch. I completely agree. It is okay to feel sucky. And you can feel sucky and still be inspirational. That’s part of what makes you inspirational…you are real. I adore that about you. Shooting up a prayer for you, friend.

    • Thank you Brooke! I adore you too. What you’ve done for Zack is inspirational as well. I’ve said it before – he’s incredibly lucky to have you as his wife!

  7. Amy, The fact is feeling blue hits all of us from time to time. Recognizing that you are blue is half the battle. Okay yesterday you weren’t, blue but you are today. You may not feel blue tomorrow or you may again. Allow yourself to have your blue periods and know that it is okay. Yoga is NOT the cure all, it just helps you cope with what is going on. It is the fact that you are doing something positive with your life and in your life.

    As far as stroke being a laughing matter, that’s why I chose to write my new book as a humorous look at stroke recovery. Having laughter when your are at your darkest point brings light. So many of the stroke recover books are inspiring, enlightening, and makes you feel like you are not alone in feeling or going through this. What they don’t do is take a look at things you do that almost comical in retrospect. Even though most of it was devastating at the time. Like sitting up on the commode the first time after you’ve been allowed up, been given a laxative, having the toilet paper slip from your and roll across a floor, and then leaning forward to wiping your butt and see yourself sliding to the floor. (Can you see it? It did to me)

    Yes devastating but in a keystone cops kind of way hilarious. Laughter is so important to us even if it is to keep from crying.

  8. Thanks so much for sharing this. I felt similarly today, “I know if I do some K. yoga I’ll feel better…but sometimes I just need to feel it a little longer”. I don’t think I wallow, and I don’t think anyone should…but to fully feel your pain…yeah, it’s a good idea.

  9. I’ve been thinking of you since I read this post this morning and didn’t know what to say. When tearing up during OT appointments, I once had an OT who used to say, “You’re entitled.”

    You’re entitled.

    PS, I find that the red wine part of eating chocolate is the best.

  10. Awww, I’m sorry to read this post….but such is life. Not every day is rainbows and butterflies 24/7. Some of the best advise I got from another survivor early on was, it’s ok to feel down, sad, whatever ur feeling….just don’t get stuck in it. Feel it and move on as quickly as possible. That’s what I have tried to do, and so far it’s working for me. I hope ur feeling better real soon. Sending positive vibes ur way!!! 🙂

  11. Yes, everyone tells me it’s ok to feel bad and cry for my losses, but not dwell there. One friend even gave me a 20 minute time limit. I’m in!! Feeling awful for 20 minutes is about as much as I can stand, then it’s time for FB or an episode of 30 rock.

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