I was at dinner this weekend with my friend and her parents joined us at the end. Her father said, ‘It’s a blessing that you’re still alive.” I immediately said “I don’t think that me and Lindsay would call this a blessing, that we are still alive but disabled.” He agreed and said “maybe that’s selfish of me to think that.” I totally completely understand that thinking, but a blessing this is not. My friend has an issue with writing like I do and he told me “the very first thing that Lindsay wrote was a note to her mom saying ‘wake me when this nightmare is over’.” Yeah…..yeah. I have learned A TON since the stroke, I have erased all negativity from my life and cleaned up my life a bit by eliminating people who don’t help my recovery. This means I’ve lost some friends, but I gained a lot of new ones. A lot of positive stuff has come out of this, but I could have learned these lessons with a much less traumatic, devastating, and disabling illness. I will never, ever, ever refer to this period of time in my life as a blessing.