When this happened to me, I could’ve been like….well what the f***? Why me? Why did this happen and why did I survive? This is bullshit. Wait, I did think that. A LOT. A lot a lot a lot. A lot. I think most people in my situation would’ve checked out. But I didn’t and I have no idea why. But now……see I’ve become pretty spiritual recently. This does not mean religious. BIG difference. Spiritual ≠ religious. Now that I’m 3 years out, have made a pretty good recovery and kind of have a normal life again, I kind of think of it differently. Now I think, well what was the universe trying to tell me by having this happen? Obviously something. If I can change my thinking about this, believe me so can you because when this happened and for the first couple of years afterward, I wanted to be DEAD. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. Now I don’t want that.
Another random thought…..when I got sick I was living with an a-hole that went on this golf trip with his buddies every summer. The summer after my stroke I heard him say on the phone, without him trying to shield me from hearing it he said, “I can’t wait for this trip, I need a f’ing break.” What a jackass. I never got a break from this even for a second. The only sort of break I got was when I was asleep and sometimes not even then. Be careful what you say around us.
Random thought #3…..The internet is a magical place. The internet is where I get all my Grumpy Cat pictures, where I check my e-mail, where Facebook lives. The internet is where I found my meditation practice. I found it, ME. I found it through MY research and now I’m telling other people about it, anyone see a problem with that?????? And……the internet is where I started a blog and met all of you people. So I’d like to say in the style of Jimmy Fallon’s thank you notes…..Thank you, world wide web, for existing and allowing me to make all these friends.