I was recently watching an old rerun of Friends and someone made a mess or something and Monica said “So this is what a stroke feels like.” I have a thing or two to say about that. I know what having a stroke feels like because I had one. Actually I had a few. Damn, that was a bad week. For me, having a stroke meant extreme, extreme, severe dizziness. I collapsed and even though I was laying on the floor it still felt like I was falling and I literally did not know which way was up. The world was spinning – oh and I puked. A lot. The only thing that made me feel somewhat better was lying perfectly still and closing my eyes. But I was afraid to close my eyes because I thought if I let myself fall asleep I would die. I didn’t have a choice a few minutes later because I passed out. I was in and out of consciousness in the ambulance. I remember bits and pieces of the ambulance ride. Then I really passed out, the doctors did shit for me, and I woke up 3 days later in the ICU with a bald head and a giant scar on the back of my head. Fun times.
I can talk about it, but I cannot talk about my experiences without crying. I have zero control over that but expressing emotion is very, very good. What is very, very bad is not expressing emotion and keeping everything bottled up inside. That’s very very very very bad. Just because you see tears doesn’t necessarily mean the person producing those tears is really sad or upset.