I always say that I have 3 friends. I thought that I had a lot more friends, but when shit hit the fan, turns out that I did not. I say this because 3 people, 3 friends of mine really, really stood out from the crowd and chaos when I got sick. These 3 people were only concerned about ME. Pretty much everyone else that played a significant role in my life let me know how much MY illness had affected THEM. Can you believe people said that crap to me at that time? I mean stuff like that was said to me just a few months after my entire existence was shattered. Oh well, live and learn. Remember what empathy is???????????????? Anyway, these 3 friends never even came close to saying anything like that to me. They just let me know how much they loved me and let me know that they would be there for me in a heartbeat, as I will for them for the rest of my life. They know who they are, I love you guys. 🙂
I have way more than 3 friends now, mostly due to the tribe.
When someone gets sick like this, it’s not about you at all. You want to help? Make it about the SICK person, not you. Not you AT ALL. Don’t let the person that is suffering know how bad you feel and that you’ve been so upset and affected by this. BELIEVE ME, THEY KNOW. If you can’t handle that, then stop being a caregiver but don’t add to the guilt that the sick person already feels. There will come a time when you can have conversations of that subject matter with that person but for the love of God, not within the first year or two.