Comments

I’m really good with words (hence the popularity and continued growth of this blog).  And because of that, I’m really good at being mean to people and making them feel like crap.  But I hate this about myself.  I have spent the last week being really depressed and that depression was triggered by a mean comment that was left on my blog.  I wasn’t depressed about the comment, the comment itself was absolutely absurd and ridiculous and was made by a guy with a whole HELL of a lot of misdirected anger. I was super upset about the way that I reacted to the comment.  I got angry and impulsively retaliated by saying a whole bunch of mean things that I later regretted saying.  Because of this I considered stopping this blog.  That was a very transitory thought and is now gone.  But the difference between myself and a narcissist with a God complex saying something like that is that I recognize when this happens and I apologize for it.  I’m very much aware of this aspect of my personality and am consciously trying to change it.  Other people do not recognize certain things in themselves, only in others.

This blog used to be nothing but a fun, positive thing in my life.  Now, it’s different.  It’s grown so much(which is a great thing) and attracted so many people(also great)- some of those people felt entitled and like I owe them something and have tried to control me and what I say on here or the way that I say them.  Not gonna happen.  Some of these things were said to me publicly by way of leaving nasty comments on here, other things have been said to me other ways by people who I assume didn’t have the courage to say it publicly.  Either way, bad idea.  Say something like that to me and it will only fuel my anger and end up having the opposite effect.  For a long time, I absolutely loved getting comments and they sure didn’t cause me to feel bad.  If you have an opinion that differs from mine or knowledge about something that I’m lacking or said wrong, please leave a comment.  I welcome those kinds of comments.  But if you’re going to leave a comment that personally insults me and attacks me, be prepared because you will probably be personally attacked and insulted 20 times harder in return.  Hopefully not by me, like I said before I’m trying hard to change this about myself but I can’t speak for other people.  For this reason, I have changed the prompt below.  All of the things that were said to me were unbelievably unempathetic things.  I really think I’m going to post the empathy video every time I publish a blog post no matter the topic.  Back when I was practicing, I think the reason my patients really, really loved me is because I treated everyone with the utmost respect and empathy.  I have not been treated the same, by multiple people.  I have learned that a lack of empathy is a rampant, rampant issue and a problem the majority of people on the planet are afflicted with.  There are other people in the world going through horrible things too.  Don’t say to someone that it could be worse and don’t ever, ever have the audacity to think or say that you or someone you know is going through something worse, you have no clue what someone else is going through on a day-to-day basis or has gone through in their life.  Don’t say to someone that you should be grateful that you can do certain things.  Nope, those are all disgusting, awful, horrible things to say to someone.  You should be ashamed of yourself if you have ever said that to someone as it has been said to me.  If you’ve ever said something like that to another person, SHAME.ON.YOU.  Don’t tell someone how to feel.

Advertisements


Categories: Brain stuff, Health, Recovery, Rehab, Stroke stuff

Tags: ,

10 replies

  1. I agree. Comparison is usually always a bad idea. I hate when people compare or even insinuate that Zack’s situation is the same or better than other people’s. We are the only people allowed to utter those words and Jesus is the only one who is allowed to give me that kind of perspective. When you are going through a personal hell it feels like nothing in the world is worse. For heaven’s sake, let us be selfish in our moment of pain. Sometimes it’s all we have. I am proud of you, Amy. Striving to be better is all we can do. I am with you, working everyday on the many things I need to better in my life.

  2. But Amy, I love risk-taking, its me being me. Although I would never attack you although I did convince you of coffee. I love whatever you want to do with your blog, hope it becomes fun again. See a movie, I just saw; one hundred foot journey, a great feel good movie, people were tearing up including me.

  3. When you said this…
    “But the difference between myself and a narcissist with a God complex saying something like that is that I recognize when this happens and I apologize for it. I’m very much aware of this aspect of my personality and am consciously trying to change it. Other people do not recognize certain things in themselves, only in others.”
    …this is why I think that you are a great rep of the stroke community and why so many of us can relate to you. You keep it real, realize when mistakes are made and apologize for it – love that!
    This “realness” was probably your way both before and after the stroke. The thing that has changed for me and maybe you too, is that having a stroke is one of the things that puts you in a position of needing more empathy.

  4. Oh Amy…I don’t even know you but I feel that what others say is no reflection on you…just on them. I have gone to Alanon for 3 years and it has helped me more than you can ever imagine. The best thing I learned is ‘respond, don’t react’….its helped me over and over….

    Linda

    • Hi Linda! That’s really good advice. “Respond, don’t react.” Much easier said than done. I have major problems with this, workin’ on it. But yeah I’ve learned to not take anything personally (after my initial reaction). Anything that is said is only a reflection on the person who said it and you don’t know what was going on in their brain when it was said.

Say things.................

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: