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2014 in review

Damn, I really need to find a way to be paid for this. Dean beat ya this year Barb.

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 55,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 20 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.


Fitting In

Christmas Day was a long, long day for me.  It involved a lot of acting as normal as I can and trying to fit in as much as I can in front of a bunch of different people at 3 different houses.  And I was absolutely exhausted by the end of the day and needed 2 days to recover.  AND a comment was made in jest about my intelligence and I’m extra super ultra sensitive about that so I got extremely p***** off.  A lot of people probably think “it’s been almost 4 years, why is it still such an issue?”  It is still very much an issue, and I’m assuming always will be.  My brain isn’t like ‘normal’ peoples’ brains, it is majorly different and affected and I can’t do certain things and now that I look quite normal and sound kinda sorta close to normal, no one gets it.  It was much easier to get people to understand that I can’t do certain things or need lots of breaks when I looked and sounded terrible.  But I don’t now.  My introverted personality made days like this exhausting for me before the stroke, but now….well now I get anxiety about it beforehand and it takes a few days to recover and feel ‘normal’ again.  Ah well, c’est la vie.

gc intro forgive



The Power of the Puppy Dog

Happy Boxing Day everyone!  I heard on the radio the other day that 15% of all internet traffic is for cat videos and pictures.  I have definitely contributed to this with my searching of Grumpy Cat memes.  And, me and my boyfriend are strangely obsessed with my cat.  But I had a dog first and let me tell you – there ain’t nothin’ in the world that can compare to the unconditional love of a dog.  Maybe the unconditional love of a baby.  I don’t know, I never had one of those.  Cats may rule the internet (and anything else they choose to rule) but dogs are……dogs are______.  I don’t know, fill in the blank.  There are no words that I could use to express how much I love my dog.  I’m pretty sure that I’d be dead without that animal.




I was talking to a friend a long time ago, she was talking about her ex-boyfriend and said something like “the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”  Something like that, I forget how she put it exactly but it was really profound.  Her point was that she knew was over this guy because she no longer gave a crap what happened in his life.  For a long time before that talking about him would make her upset and angry.  I have OCD(obsessive-compulsive disorder) which makes things terribly difficult to completely let go of.  It takes me a long, long time – sometimes years – to completely let go of something.  This is the way I have been since I was a teenager.  It’s just the way I am.  I wish the stroke took my OCD away, but no such luck.  I wrote about something a while ago, I forget what specifically I was talking about, but I was writing something about cutting toxic people out of my life.  Barb made a comment and said that she disagrees because she feels that when people are really mean, that’s when they need kindness the most.  I think that’s wonderful.  If you can do that, do that.  I cannot do that.  When someone is mean to me I react instead of responding and my reaction usually ain’t so good.  I’m mean right back, usually quite a bit meaner and then I feel even worse later on after I have calmed down.  I HATE this.  I hate, hate, hate, hate this about myself.  But I am fully aware of this about myself.  There are some people/situations from my past that I am now indifferent about and don’t give a crap about.  There are some people/situations from my past that still make me very angry and upset when I talk or think about them.  So if you’ve wronged me, believe me you want me out of your life, it’s better for both me and you.  But like I said, I am very much aware of this about myself and trying to change it.  There are some people who I know that are older than me, some much older, who have absolutely no awareness of their faults and would never admit them, let alone try to change them.  This awareness and attempt at changing my behavior, I believe, is a sign that I have reached maturity.  If you know better, you try to do better.  If you know better and don’t try to do better, well…that’s a motherfucker of a problem and will probably cost you dearly in your life.



Someone the other day was doing some exercises and his quadriceps muscle got a really bad cramp in it.  So here’s what I did. I had him do this exercise.

laqI thought that might help because the exercise is to work out the quads.  So using and contracting the muscle would then force it to relax when the exercise is over which would relieve the cramp.  It helped.  But disclaimer: don’t take my advice, I have brain damage and probably don’t know what I’m talking about.



Neurodevelopmental treatment is a certification you can get as a physical therapist that a whole lot of people use when treating stroke patients.  I don’t agree with the approach.  NDT is all about inhibiting improper movements. If you get trained in NDT, the basic premise – I think, I’m not trained in NDT so I can’t say for sure – is that if you allow the bad movements it will lead to even more bad movements.  Nope.  I think that you need to let your movements be weird and then try to gain more control over them and make them better.  If you don’t let the movements be all weird, how on earth will they get better?  Just inhibiting the weird movement from the get-go will not work.  I had a stroke – I know what I’m talking about.  I’m a physical therapist – I know what I’m talking about.

Peter G. Levine also knows what he’s talking about……


This goes for emotional crap too.  Don’t fight it, it’s ok.  Let the bad feelings be there and acknowledge them.  You’ll be shocked at how much pressure is taken off your shoulders once you say to yourself “well I feel like shit and that’s ok, I’m not gonna pretend everything is hunky-dory when it’s so, so, so, so, so, so not.  Moving all weird is ok and feeling like crap is ok.

gc instagram gc rehab



Sound Healing

I went to a sound healing class yesterday and it was INCREDIBLE.  I took my mom and sister who also said it was INCREDIBLE.  It was an hour-long class of relaxation while gongs were played in a specific way.  Here is the description of the class from the website that I have linked above…..

During a sound resonance therapy session special therapy-grade singing bowls are placed on/or around the body while the client is bathed with waves of deep harmonics of multiple gongs whose sound frequencies reach far beyond the audible range. The rhythmic sound oscillations are transmitted directly into the body and tissues producing a full body sound massage that allows a deep sense of peace as the sounds clear blockages and restore the free flow of life energy to the body. ”

I hope you’re asking yourself, “is there any research to support this?”  Why, yes there is.  Not that there is evidence to support everything that might be helpful, but there is for this.  Here’s some.  Here’s some more.  I strongly, strongly suggest that you look into this.