I’m pretty sure that the general consensus when someone sees me and then learns what happened to me is that I’m over it and don’t need any help anymore. I look great, so what could I be dealing with now? I am still dealing with so much crap on a daily basis that it’s hard for me to get through each day let alone think about the future. I can’t write – at all, I can’t eat or drink with my right hand, and I’m right handed. I have to ask someone to cut my f’ing food. I can’t run. My voice sucks and sometimes people still think I’m less intelligent because of it. And because of the speech disorder it’s difficult for me to speak up and defend myself so people think I’m even more brain-damaged and stupid. I can only wear certain shoes because I walk weird, no heels ever again. My right arm starts shaking at really inappropriate times. I have horrible balance and I have A LOT of trouble on stairs. I get debilitating migraines once a month that last for 3 days. Don’t get me started on the emotional stuff that this has caused. Ok let’s start to talk about that. I’m incredibly reactionary when someone is insensitive to me. I now have Post-traumatic stress Disorder. So I fly off the handle at little things. I spend days at a time in tears and not being able to function. Sounds like fun huh? Until I met Pat I really wanted to be dead. He makes me not want to be dead.