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November 16, 2015

38

New Life

by Amy

I’m getting married next month to the most wonderful man who ever existed on the planet.  He might not be real.  He is an empath, he is the funniest human being ever, and he is the most brilliant man I have ever met.  We’re not having a wedding, just going downtown and getting married because we want to be married.  When you have a stroke, man do I know the emptiness, loneliness, intense fear, suicidal thoughts and feelings, people not understanding anything and not trying to understand, and hundreds of other bad feelings.  But good things (can) happen after you get through Hell.  I’m not saying they will, but they can.

So, I’m going to stop blogging for now, possibly forever.  I’m going to go live my life as best as I can.  And I need to try to get to a place of inner peace.  The anger that I have is eating me up inside.  It comes and goes, but when it comes it is incredibly intense.  Barring my therapist who is unbelievably wonderful and also might not be real, Western Medicine has done little to nothing to help me with this.  I believe the way out of this is meditation.  At least an hour of it everyday.  And eventually, hopefully, I will feel ok all the time.  I will never delete the blog because I happen to think it’s chock full of a ton of great information all in one place.  And if anyone ever has any questions, feel free to email me.  I’m here to help.

So this is Dr. Amy signing off, for now…….

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38 Comments Post a comment
  1. Bob Nahm
    Nov 16 2015

    Congratulations Amy, that’s AbsoFrigginLutely Wonderful!!! Very happy for you and your soon to be husband.

    As for meditation, here’s a youtube link of videos and mediations from Thích Nhất Hạnh. Wishing you all the best and a great deal of progress in taming that anger.‎
    https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=thich+nhat+hanh&tbm=vid

    Thank you very much for all that you’ve done for so many of us,
    Bob

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Thank you Bob, and thanks for the link!

      Reply
  2. barb0803
    Nov 16 2015

    Wonderful, wonderful. After having a stroke, it’s hard to believe sometimes (especially at first, that your plans of life in the future weren’t just blown out of the water, never to be.

    Congratulations on finding Patrick.

    Sorry to lose your blog – I have always found it very helpful.

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Thanks Barb! I hope you don’t get 50 feet of snow this year….

      Reply
      • barb0803
        Nov 18 2015

        I’m hoping the same, but just in case, we’re going on a road trip south for most of February.

        Reply
  3. Greg
    Nov 16 2015

    Amy, I am sooo happy for you! UncleGreg

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Thanks Uncle Greg!

      Reply
  4. Nov 16 2015

    Congratulations !!!!!!

    Reply
  5. Clairese Russell
    Nov 16 2015

    Amy, This is wonderful news !! While I will miss reading your blog, I too, have tried to get through the day without allowing the stroke to own me. You were a tremendous help to me and my family since my cerebellar stroke in July 2012. Take care and enjoy your life.
    Clairese Russell

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Without allowing it to own me….good way to put it, this is something I work on everyday. Still, after almost 5 years. :/

      Reply
  6. Rudolf Dankwort
    Nov 16 2015

    Congratulations and all happiness to you Amy, and our thanks for having shared all those difficult 4 years with us. And I for one hope that we WILL hear from you again one of these days.

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Thank you and you’re welcome!

      Reply
  7. oc1dean
    Nov 16 2015

    Congratulations Dr. Amy. I’ll miss your wit and insights.

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      There’s enough wit to go around, Pat doesn’t get it all, you’ll still get some.

      Reply
  8. Nov 16 2015

    Amy, congrats, I hope you find your happiness and inner peace…maybe awhile down the line you can pop back on the blog for a quick post….I will miss reading you blog meanwhile.

    Reply
  9. Kevin Cleveland
    Nov 16 2015

    Congratulations Amy, I have really looked forward to your blog/advice, cheers, Kevin from down under !!!!!

    Reply
  10. Aunt Marilyn
    Nov 16 2015

    Amy, so proud of you, and so very happy for you!😊 Love, Aunt Marilyn

    Reply
  11. Dora Hasbun
    Nov 16 2015

    We will miss you! You have been of great help! I am glad you are beginning a new life.
    Hope to hear from you soon!
    The Hasbun’s from El Salvador

    Reply
  12. Nov 16 2015

    Congratulations! You’ll be missed.

    Reply
  13. Leslie
    Nov 17 2015

    Congratulations Amy, that’s awesome news!

    Thank you for your years of open honesty. You have been more than helpful in my recovery. I hope you find the peace you seek and more than deserve. Best wishes

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Thank you Leslie! And you’re welcome.

      Reply
  14. Aunt Judi
    Nov 17 2015

    Hi Amy. I’m quite certain I’ve never been more proud to be your Aunt. From day one you were special and beautiful. And Then I saw another side of you. Strong and brilliant. Well I always knew you were brilliant! I wish you and Patrick years of love, laughter and happiness. So happy for you. And thank you so much for all your help. Love you❤️ Aunt Judi.

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Thank you Aunt Judi!

      Reply
  15. Tammy
    Nov 17 2015

    Congratulations! Blessing to you always! I still want to meet my medical and life twin, you are my mirror in many ways. 🐢

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Really? Besides the stroke, what ways are mirrors?

      Reply
  16. oc1dean
    Nov 17 2015

    Get out there and have fun.

    Reply
    • Nov 18 2015

      Gonna try, gonna try….

      Reply
  17. john walseth
    Nov 19 2015

    congratulation Amy. you deserve to be happy. thank you for being our voice in the wilderness. your blog has helped to explain many of the things that i have experienced since my stroke. thank you.
    john

    Reply
    • Nov 20 2015

      You’re welcome. It warms my heart to hear things like that.

      Reply
  18. Nov 23 2015

    Congratulations!!! So happy for you but will miss ur updates on ur blog! I think that getting away from as much negativity as possible will be good for your anger. And most of this stroke crap brings up negative memories. When I made a deliberate choice to drop all the negative things in my life, I noticed a huge difference in my peacefulness. Best wishes, and happily ever after!!! 🙂 thanks for all the fun over the years and for introducing me to grumpy cat.

    Reply
  19. Linda in WInnipeg
    Dec 29 2015

    Congratulations Amy! I am so glad you have found such a wonderful person to share your life. I wish you much happiness and peace. I am right there with you in finding that meditation is the way to keep going and I find it makes all the difference in coping with those ups and downs.

    I am going to miss reading your blog but wish you well. I have learned a lot from you.

    Linda in Winnipeg

    Reply
    • Dec 29 2015

      Thank you Linda! How’s your yoga class going? Just curious, what kind of meditation are you learning? I would like to try another form.

      Reply

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