Never Mind

Let me preface this story by saying that I have the best, most empathetic husband ever and I can’t believe I found him.  That said, on with the story…..(I asked him if I could write about this)

It’s hard for two Highly Sensitive People (HSP) to be together.  Especially when one of the HSPs has a disabling, chronic illness.  Last night, this happened….

I started to say something, and he didn’t understand what I said,

He then said “what?

Me: “never mind”

Him: “No what were you gonna say?”

Me: “never mind

Him:  “No, what?”

Me:  (Gets angry and upset and goes to bed)

Him: “What the hell just happened?”

Sometimes, I just need to stop talking.  Pat didn’t hear what I said the first time around, and when it’s late at night and I have zero energy anyway, don’t ask me to repeat something.  Just don’t.  Seven years after my stroke, it is still physically taxing for me to get words out at times.  When he didn’t understand me the first time and asked me to repeat myself, my brain flipped a switch, I became confused and got all messed up in my head about what I was gonna say, and……………..I just needed for it to be dropped and change the subject.

He didn’t drop it, wanted to know what I was going to say and I got angry that he kept pressing me to talk after I had said “never mind” twice.  He told me today that he genuinely just was curious what I was going to say because he thought I was about to say something funny.

Of course, I interpreted it incorrectly which led to me getting angry and making him feel bad which then makes me feel terrible……

So now, we agreed that “never mind” is our safe phrase.  Whenever I say that, he knows now to just change the subject.

Categories: Brain stuff, Recovery, Stroke stuff

Tags: ,

4 replies

  1. My God! If someone doesn’t hear me the first time and asks me to repeat it, my mind goes blank – other than telling myself i’m An idiot because I have no inkling of what I said. Not a clue. It horrifies me. So, “never mind” is so much less threatening than “I don’t remember.”

  2. I am so glad you brought up this subject. My hubby is losing his hearing and there are a lot of times when he does not hear what I say. It is very hard to talk at times for me. Since my last stroke I seem to have a hard time getting words out when I am tired, my voice gets weak and soft. I have a hard time finding words and remembering things, so when I come up with the perfect thing at the perfect time and he doesn’t catch it and then asks me to repeat it it’s like someone popped my bubble and you can’t blow it up again.

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