My husband has been having some difficulty lately and at times I was not emotionally able to support him in the way that I would have preferred. And I felt terrible about it.
We talked and he said to me “you have enough burden on your plate, you don’t need more.” No, I certainly, sure as hell don’t need more. It’s not like I’ll be going down to the Burden Store and saying, “hey load me up! I’m out of burden.” No, I won’t do that.
But I don’t like feeling or being told other people can’t talk to me about their own issues because they don’t want to burden me or are apprehensive of how I’ll react. I don’t like that either. But I guess that’s the way it is.
Until someone fully understands this, that an actual physical change to my brain has occurred that causes me to have very little emotional control over my reactions, this will continue. I’ll just keep meditating and try to dull down my reactivity until I don’t have anger outbursts anymore. Seems to be working. Doubt I’ll ever get to the point that I have no anger anymore. Imagine that.